The Fete Blog

I don’t think I can start another weekend link round up with the phrase, “OMG, can you believe it’s the weekend already?”… but is it me or is life moving awfully fast these days? I’ll often take a step back– usually during a run or workout– and think, “I’m going to blink and be at ___ (my race on Saturday, the US Championships in five weeks, Europe in July).” I had a coach tell me last year during a race, “It’ll be over before you know it.” Translate that to EVERYTHING, not just a race– it’s thrilling and scary and overwhelming all at once. Spend more time this weekend really soaking in the moment; it will be over before you know it.

I want to transport myself into this picture and become this girl, if only for a minute… image via

Some lovely links to inspire your weekend reading–>

-Summer is coming– and these drinks + treats are perfect for any occasion!

-My new favorite color combintation

-This piece, by my dear friend Katie, is beautiful inspiration.

-Have you seen the new Beyond the Flavor site? It is PERFECT. Two of my current favorite features– the Hill & Holler dinner and the Potter’s Cider boys.

-Talking Gatsby and classic lit over on Annie’s blog!

-We all love breakfast nooks– but what about the breakfast bench?

-Incredible beach wedding inspiration

-I just stumbled upon Andrea Hubbell’s series “Living Spaces” and am in love!

-Must read: date a boy who travels

-My wedding dress designer Kate has a chance to get BACK on Project Runway– head here to vote for her to compete again on Season 12!

-Powerful words from Gala Darling– stop making excuses!

-Key lime squares– YUM!

-Fashionista brides– modern veil inspiration

-It was Popsicle Week over on Lexy’s blog– these recipes are the makings of an excellent mid-summer party menu!

-Have you tried out the A Beautiful Mess photo app yet? Go. Download. Now!

In case you missed anything… Photo I Heart | Recent Reads | Thought o’the Week | Make Merry! | Sweet Details | Hitched! | Team Jefferson On Marriage | Fitness Thursday | Getting Hitched!

happy, happy Saturday! xoxo 

A surprise proposal is enough to sweep any bride off her feet– but a surprise proposal in Venice? This is what fairy tales and romantic comedies are made of! When Thomas, a California firefighter, began planning his proposal to Heather, he teamed up with Luca Fazzolari (remember this elopement we shared a few weeks ago?) to capture and celebrate the raw, romantic, authentic moment. What a lovely way to start off an engagement…

The plan: Thomas suggested that he and Heather visit San Giorgio Island by ferry, to get a view of a nearby church. Waiting for them was a dozen red roses, which Thomas presented to Heather one by one before getting on one knee to officially propose.

After a quick ferry ride back to the mainland, Thomas and Heather wandered around Castello for a sweet– and timely!– engagement session.

images by Luca Faz Photographer in Venice | this proposal was submitted via Two Bright Lights! 

image via Vintage Penny Lane

I don’t want to bring up terrible stereotypes, but this one is unfortunately still prevalent in our culture. As women, we’re sometimes taught to shun competition– that being ambitious and working hard to get ahead isn’t ladylike and isn’t in keeping with the universal fellowship of women. I’m all for cheering on your friends and opponents– but to think that we shouldn’t be competitive just because we’re women is total bullshit.

There are times when I get lulled into an attitude of “it’s okay if I’m not the best”– or worse, “there’s no way I can be the best” (this goes mostly for my running, but also for other aspects of my life where being competitive is a good thing). I roll along for a bit, lifeless, going through the motions, and mentally disengaged, and then get upset and depressed when I feel like I’m not living up to my expectations or the expectations of those who I work with or depend on me. It’s the worst feeling in the world.

image via The Celebrity Cafe

I’ve been in this kind of funk with racing for a year now. After college, my races were lackluster, disappointing, and uninspired– because of burnt out or being unhappy with my living situation(s). I barely ran any “personal bests,” I rarely raced,  and I was confused. Maybe being a professional runner wasn’t going to be my thing… and maybe I didn’t really care. That spark I had in college seemed to be growing dimmer and dimmer with each race where I failed to live up to my expectations or potential.

And then… I ran a race at my home track at the University of Virginia. The race wasn’t a distance I specialize in, so there was no pressure. It was against mostly college girls, so there were no scary professionals to race against. I was racing in front of a hometown crowd, with old teammates, coaches, and friends there to cheer me on. It was AMAZING. I had no stress, very little anxiety (a bit of nerves is healthy before a race), and so much fun. Best of all– I ran a PB, my fastest time in that event EVER, which proved to myself that a) I was fit! fitter than I’ve ever been! and b) I still had it in me.

What happened? I was actually being competitive! I “remembered” how I used to be a complete badass and totally fearless when I raced and it all came back to me in that race. I wasn’t afraid of racing, I wasn’t afraid of my competition, I just wanted to race to win.

image via Blogspot

I came back to normal training after that race and had a much stronger mental attitude (remember, mental toughness is the biggest fitness challenge I face). I was excited to do all the little exercises and stretches; I felt very zen in my workouts. I had recaptured that college fearlessness and felt like much less of a headcase than I had been the entire year prior. And it was all because I had embraced my competitiveness.

Being competitive is a must for your athletic life. Don’t think of it in negative terms– “I want to demolish that girl I don’t like in spin class” or “If I could just be thinner than that mom I run by in the park, I’d be happy.” Think of competing in terms of goals. If you have a fun set of goals you want to hit, you’ll be more motivated to want to improve in your fitness life– and more willing to do whatever it takes to get there. Find a friendly competitor to push you during your workouts and put yourself in competitive scenarios– races or performances– to get your adrenaline spiking. It will, in turn, make you feel so much more motivated, satisfied, and raring to get back to work when you hit your goals!

image via ffffound

Ignore all those who think you shouldn’t be competitive because you’re a woman. Being a confident and self-assured person– and athlete– is a way to fuse health and happiness. Go out and kick some butt!

I’ll admit it: like every other newly minted wife, I’ve found several aspects of married life completely surprising. There are so many things that surprise, delight, stress, and frustrate me about marriage. And, of course, there are things that totally didn’t change between John and I once we became Man and Wife. But one thing I’ve struggled with has been putting away my to-do list.

It’s to be expected: we spent over a year planning our wedding and there were constant to-dos. Cake tasting, dress consultations, going to Goodwill every few weeks to find vests for the groomsmen, keep sewing new strands of bunting, address envelopes. We were endlessly busy and the list never got any shorter. And once we were married, the list again seemed long: consolidate our stuff, thank you notes, cell phone plans, get a puppy (note: we never actually did any of this stuff).

But as time went on, our time was suddenly spent doing… nothing. One Sunday, John sat and read for most of the day. I started doing the boring chores– dishes, laundry– and then had a freak out.

“Do you want to do anything?” I asked.

“No.” John didn’t even look up from his page.

“Well, are you bored? You must be bored.”

“I’m not bored, I’m reading,” he said.

Minutes later.

“We should go do something,” I begged.

“Why? It’s Sunday, I want to relax.”

“But we’re SO BORING now that we’re married!!” I cried.

I freaked out because, in my mind, if we didn’t have anything on our plate or anything “to do,” we were nothing. We were boring. We had lost that exciting spark of our dating and our engagement. As a married couple, we were less interesting if we didn’t have anything going on– because relaxing is clearly not an interesting option. And even worse– if my husband was bored, that must mean I’m doing something wrong. It was now my duty to entertain him 24/7 and I was supposed to know how he was feeling and what he wanted, even if he didn’t vocalize it.

A few days later, I had a conversation with Stephen, our best friend, and told him how I had been feeling. “That’s what XX (an ex) was like. She always needed to be doing something and I hated it,” he responded.

“Really?” I asked.

“If I want to do something, I’ll do something. Your husband is a big boy, if he gets bored, he’ll do something about it.” I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to believe him.

Fast forward a few more weeks and one of our mutual friends asked how things were going. I said something about us needing an exciting new goal now that the wedding was over. We aren’t rushing to have children, we don’t have the money to travel every month, we aren’t in the market for a house or car (or puppy… darn!). What’s the next step? His response? “Maybe no goal at all. Maybe just enjoying the time you’re spending now.”

Enjoy… the time… we’re spending now. Is that an acceptable goal? Can I put that on a to-do list to check off at a later date? Is filling our days with our everyday lives and not rushing to the next big life experience really okay?

I’m still trying to wrap my mind around this concept– that there doesn’t need to be a “next” right now and that we can still be an exciting, interesting couple even though we’re married with no major goal in our lives. Learning to let go of my death grip on our “to-do” list is something I’m slowly getting used to– and finding pleasure in everyday joys and letting our relationship evolve day by day is a to-do I shouldn’t rush past.

Newlyweds, are you finding life post-wedding to be slower paced? Do you have any new goals for your marriage? Long-married gals, did you rush into the “next” thing as soon as your wedding was over? How do you keep your everyday life exciting?

This wedding is just… breathtaking. The second I opened up the submission, I was swept away by the absolute beauty of the bride, the romance of the monastery venue, and the sweetness shared between the newly married couple. There’s really no words to accurately describe how lovely this celebration is– everything from the color scheme and the florals to the attire and the floating lantern sendoff is magical. A big thanks to Meg Baisden Photography for sharing this Miami celebration with us!

images by Meg Baisden Photography | this wedding was submitted via Two Bright Lights!

One of the best (and easiest) ways to “wow” at your wedding is with papers. I truly believe that creative, beautiful, fun paper details (from escort cards to menus to actual signs directing your guests) are the best way to transform a good wedding into a great wedding– and the quickest way to sprinkle your personality throughout your day.

image via Junebug Weddings / photo by Ulmer Studios

This sign, on a guestbook table, is a modern and graphic detail that transforms a simple table, embellishes a travel theme, and gives us a hint about the interests of this couple. If you’re going the postcard route (where you have guests sign postcards, and place either in a mailbox or a pretty trunk/suitcase– have your maid of honor mail you one every day or browse through them on your honeymoon!), having a sweet sign with a travel mantra is an interesting way to add some pop to your guestbook display.

There are definitely Etsy shops that sell signs like this; your calligrapher or stationer could absolutely whip something like this up; or you could DIY it. Dig around and find a pretty paper map. Adhere it to a piece of wood, or place it in a pretty frame. Then, cut out letters (with a stencil or by hand) or find large letter stickers and spell out the fun quote or mantra you want to display. If you’re going the paper letter route, adhere it to the map with a spray adhesive. Finish off with a few coats of a clear sealer, to make it all smooth and polished– and voila!

image via theiapolis media

Oh, come on– you know we had to! As obsessed as we are with the book (and film) The Great Gatsby, we thought it only right to theme a May dinner party after this great American novel (minus the car crashes, affairs, and crushed dreams, of course).

[ tablescape | string lights | flapper dress
roast chicken | cake pop | mint julep ]

While we can’t all throw parties as grand as Gatsby, we can throw a fabulous soiree of our own this summer– taking cues from Gatsby’s “roaring twenties” style. First things first– you need to have an inner and outer party space. If you can, snag some cheap, but beautiful, sheer curtains to drape your interior space with (a la Daisy Buchanan’s house); place cozy and comfy furniture (all the couches and armchairs you have) to allow your guests to lounge luxuriously. Dinner should be at a long table filled with candles and your glitziest tablewear– spray paint cheap silverwear gold for some extra flair!

Outside, hang white or colored string lights around your yard– EVERYWHERE. We don’t all have a pool, but if you do, make use of it! Play jazz standards (or Jay-Z, if you want to emulate the Baz Luhrmann Gatsby), dress in your best modern-day-flapper dress (something embellished and knee-length– and don’t forget a fabulous headpiece!) and ask your man to don a linen suit (or just something swanky). Grab a bunch of sparklers for the end of the night– a low-key version of Gatsby’s firework sendoffs.

Pass “tea cakes” (elaborately sprinkled or decorated cake pops could be a fun, modern version!) and dainty nibbles; delicious roast chicken must be your main course (yes, I’m grabbing at any reference to food I can find in the book). Oh– and mint juleps. Always!

Menu:
Cocktail | Mint Julep

Canape | Deviled eggs

Canape | Goat cheese crostini with blood orange and black pepper marmalade (ps. see more passed canape recipes here!)

Main | Buttermilk roast chicken

Side | Waldorf salad

Side | Peas and carrots

Dessert | Cake pops

John and I are on a precipice– where we know we are going to make some changes in our lifestyle in the coming months, but the journey is still a bit unclear. We have a few potential end results and other than that… we have each other. But for as much as I worry (I’m a constant worry-er), I realized something yesterday: for all the crazy things I want to do with my life, there really is no better partner than the one I have. At the root of it all, John and I support one another and are willing to let each other live out our dreams any way possible– even if that means we have to make some sacrifices in our relationship.

I thought to this very image and quote during one of our conversations yesterday and it comforted me; it really IS all about who you partner up with (it doesn’t have to be romantically) on the road. Literally and figuratively. The best trips you’ve ever been on were likely with a cadre of incredible, supportive, fun people. The best moments of your life were probably the same. Really take the time to give yourself a once-over– who are the people you depend on the most? Is your everyday life (that’s the core part of the journey) filled with people who inspire you, support you, thrill you?

image via imgfave

“What was the use of doing great things if I could have a better time telling her what I was going to do?”

“‘Her voice is full of money,’ he said suddenly.”

“There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy, and the tired.”

To say I am excited for Baz Luhrmann’s remake of The Great Gatsby is a gross understatement. I am BEYOND excited (and yes, all caps are necessary). The Great Gatsby is one of my favorite pieces of literature– and that means something, because I’m obviously an expert with my masters in English. {To be quite honest, American literature, until the contemporary period, never really caught my attention. I love British modernism (happening at the same time F. Scott Fitzgerald was writing and led by the great Virginia Woolf) but the American writers of the time just don’t do it for me (the obvious exceptions: Faulkner and Hemingway).}

I loved Gatsby from the first time I read it in high school. Something about that glitzy, luscious, crazy world grabbed me. This was my third re-reading of it, and I have to say, Gatsby is like a fine wine: it just gets better with age.

By now, you probably know the plot. Nick, a guy from the Midwest, comes to the East. Shacks up next door to this Gatsby fellow, who throws the best parties. Hangs out with his cousin Daisy, her husband (crazy, racist, sexist Tom), and the mysterious Jordan Baker. He meets Gatsby, gets to know some of his self-made history, and learns about his old love affair with Daisy. Gets wrangled into putting Daisy and Gatsby back together; there’s a fight with Tom; a car crash; then a tragic, tragic ending.

What stood out to me this time, as a 25-year-old, were three things: first, this was an incredible period where people SAID who they were and it was believed. There is this theme of spoken untruths, that I would definitely write a paper about if I were still in school. Gatsby depicts a magical time period where if you wanted to be someone, you said it, and voila– you were it.

The second stand-out was just how beautiful Fitzgerald’s words were. The words! The man put sentences together out of nowhere that made me stop, read again, repeat five times, double back again later… Gatsby is truly a book of special significance to literature. Fitzgerald said he wanted to “write something new– something extraordinary and beautiful and simple & intricately patterned.” He did. Read it and really pay attention to the form, not just the story.

And, finally, this reading made me really dislike everyone. I’m sure that’s the point, deep down– that we’re all frauds– but it really stood out to me this time. I didn’t like Nick. Sure, he’s the last one standing by Gatsby’s side at the end, but he’s a jerk to him so often. Dismissive, rude, judgmental– who is Nick to be judgmental? Daisy’s a mess, Jordan’s kind of a bitch, Tom is gross, and Gatsby… well, I just kept picturing Leo as Gatsby this time and I couldn’t help but adore him. At the end, it reads as if Nick is blaming the East for creating the disastrous summer he had– that he believes the Midwest is purer, calmer, better. I disagreed. It didn’t stop me from loving the book, but it did make me skeptical of Nick as the narrator (I would make the argument that you’re supposed to question his reliability as the storyteller).

The movie is sure to pale in comparison to the book– but it is sure to be a masterpiece in its own way. Even if you’ve already seen it, go out and get a copy of the book. It’s a fast read, gripping and entertaining– truly a book to be treasured.

fun illustrations by Fred Meyer via my Collector’s Edition Great Gatsby

Can I talk about how much I adore Jason and Tammy Keefer? Not only are they fun, beautiful, COOL people– their photographic style is one of a kind. We live in a town with a plethora of photographers, which is a great thing… but yes, the issue of style and diversity and standing out is admittedly a tough one when everyone wants to emulate that Jose Villa, medium format film style or that sharp, crisp digital style. Making a photograph stand out as undeniably you can be tough for any photographer at any skill level in the wedding industry. But Jason and Tammy… their photography is unapologetically unique and refreshing. Their perspective is sometimes dark, a bit more on the raw side, but always, without fail, jaw-dropping and beautiful.

I love this shot. It’s the Keefer take on the bridal portrait– a gorgeous woman, a white dress, a bouquet of flowers– and yet it’s not. The realness of the moment, the interesting patterns of light and texture of her surroundings, and the obscurity of who this bride really is just intrigues me. It’s an incredible photo and just the right way for me to kick off the week.

happy, happy monday.