The Fete Blog

Hello! Apologies for a super quiet blog this past week… it was one of those silly weeks where EVERY deadline, project, shoot, travel, and, oh yes, my birthday, fell all at once, leaving me super active and horribly unproductive. Looking at my email (un-labelled, un-answered, scattered) is scary– and looking at my poor unattended blog is sad. So, apologies! Here’s to a more normal schedule this week…

Ignore the horrible marker and see-through paper because I wanted to share my birthday goals before I got too far away from my 25th last Friday– I scrambled to get this all down. Every year, I put together a list of fun things I want to do before my next birthday (inspired by Elsie’s version). This year’s list is a mix of work, travel, and pleasure… and hopefully I can actually stick to it! Doing this for yet another year made me realize how addicted I am to list-making. Seriously, my Type A-ness needs to take a break.

And my list of Birthday Month celebrations? I did 5. 5 out of 31. Wow…

Happy Sunday! Here’s to a joyful week and an amazing year!

I have to admit– I’ve been guilty over the past few weeks of staring, bleary eyed and sleepy, at my laptop instead of turning to my pile of books-to-be-read. I’m embarrassed that I didn’t get through more of my Flagstaff reading list while we were in Arizona… but that’s how it goes. There will never be enough time to get to all the books on my dream bookshelf! But so help me, I’m going to try.

My short list of books to enjoy this month is a hodgepodge of interests– training, blogging, and nerdy. I am usually a one-book-at-a-time kind of reader, but lately, I’ve been enjoying reading some non-fiction alongside an engrossing fiction book.

-For runners: I don’t know Kara Goucher personally, but I want to be her best friend. I was inspired by a Runner’s World cover story on training partners Kara and Shalane (the best American marathoners) and then by Kara’s race at the Boston Marathon; I’d seen this book on the shelves for a few months and was finally moved to pick it up. I’m sure most of it will be common knowledge for me (it seems to be a book geared towards beginners), but Kara trained through her pregnancy and runs much longer distances than me, so I think I’ll pick up some tips and inspiration… and then when I do get the chance to meet her, I can be that nerdy girl who’s read her book.

-For bloggers: I’m always up for more learning AND I’m a massive fan of Joy Cho’s blog. I’m about 1/3 of the way through this book (it’s not the book, it’s just my reading energy levels as of late)– I love that she includes interviews with bloggers (from a range of genres and niches) and I enjoy her friendly, informative tone. There are some parts of the book (the very basic stuff) that I’ve breezed through; but it’s been refreshing to get a primer on the ins and outs of the blog world!

-For dreamers: Yes– I am hooked on Game of Thrones! After my dear friend Lyndsay introduced me to the HBO series, I was determined to try out the books. They’re surprisingly so easy to read– the dialogue and easiness of the television series began in George Martin’s books. You’d think they’d be nerdy, fantasy fairy tales– but they’re interesting, enthralling, and comfortable to read. I’m on the second book and loving it.

What’s on your must-read list this month? What books are you carrying around right now?

Whoa, this week flew by. I don’t even know what I did all week. Was I productive? Did I do anything fun? Is it really the weekend? I’m not sure. I feel better than last week’s lost, unmotivated, lazy Stephanie, but the days still seem to be whipping by without me really getting a good grasp on them. Unfortunately, there’s no good lowkey, relax week on the horizon, so it’s time to chug some more caffeinated drinks and get moving!

A dream: to spend the weekend lounging about in gorgeous vintage ballgowns… {psst– we haven’t been Pinterest friends lately. I pin, you pin, we all pin! Follow me here! This one, via my Pretty Things to Inspire board.}

What are your weekend to-dos? Do take some time to zone out and juice up (both literally and figuratively). Get those creative wheels spinning with some good, old-fashioned link browsing! Some to inspire you–>

-Wedding Chicks shares a round-up of pink wedding cakes. Yes, please!

-We’re on a total photography kick and taking advice/listening to stories anywhere we can get them. Sincerely Kinsey did a massive FAQ on her photography career & technique this week– a must read! (PS. John and I have both started photography tumblrs! Take a peek– his / hers)

-The Selby is in Christian Louboutin’s place. Still swooning.

-This piece by Penelope Trunk (The Brazen Careerist) was a very, very interesting read and I kept following link after link– call me indulgent, but I love reading analysis about my generation!

-Local food love! The gals at Beyond the Flavor are asking for your help to build a massive be-all-end-all food blog for Charlottesville. Head over to their Kickstarter and become a backer!

-I think the ManRepeller and I were on the same brainwave about hair styling (and taking the plunge) this week– love her piece urging us to just do what we want.

-Proud of Latanya for putting this post out there: what’s wrong with a little “you time”? (yes, she’s talking about masturbation!)

-DIY o’the week! Elsie shares her secret to creating a massive photo wall– I want, I want!

-Do you follow Dooce? a. You should. b. If only for her week-end link round ups. I die over the tweets she features, they are the funniest things I read each and every week!

-Small space craft room inspiration via Apartment Therapy

-Magnificent: this couple brought their wedding photographer with them to their African honeymoon– I wish Jen could have come on ours!!

-Blog & life idol Gala Darling is starting a 10 week blogging series– first up: Demand Your Worth! (PS. The first London Blogcademy is happening now! Follow the hashtag #theblogcademy for sneak peeks and up-to-date tips!)

-Did I tell you my wedding dress designer Katelyn Pankoke is going to be on the next season of Project Runway? SO COOL. Check out her designer page on the Project Runway website– I love it!

-Oh Joy’s collection of baby pieces for Winter Water Factory are 40% off through the end of the month! Snag the sale code here!

-Dreamy home eye-candy: let’s take a holiday to the Babington House soon! via Honey Kennedy

And in case you missed anything this week–> Photo I Heart | {Finds} Golden Silhouette Designs | Thought o’the Week | Make Merry! | Team Jefferson: Navigating a Marriage, No.1 | Fitness: 5 Tips for Winter Training | Short Hair-spiration! | A Charming Midwestern E-Session | Introducing the Cville Wedding Classic | A Big Barn Countryside Wedding!

happy saturday! xoxo

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again– having a community is the only way to make it through this world with happiness, love, and success. I was thrilled to find such a strong blogging community through Blogcademy and am more and more in awe of my fellow Bloggets every day. Case in point: Marthe Hagen of The Freedom Experiment. Not only is she a wildly successful blogger, curating a loving community through her writing, but she just saw the eagerly anticipated launch of her first e-book (I reviewed it here and you can learn more here!) and is spending the rest of 2012 traveling the world.

What is Marthe all about? Self-love and taking those leaps necessary to achieve your dreams. Down with a world where we can’t talk about our dreams! Marthe wants you to boldly follow them wherever they take you.

Why did you start blogging? What motivated you to share your story?

Marthe: In the beginning, a little over four years ago, I started blogging to have a space to share everything that I found inspiring. I didn’t really create my own content at first, I just re-blogged images, video’s, quotes etc. However, I slowly re-discovered my love for writing and started writing original content for the blog. Over the course of about a year I eased into an article-based blog– while still keeping my original whimsical and romantic aesthetic vision.

It’s only during the last year that I have really been sharing my full story. I was originally motivated by personal reasons; I realized that I was living a double life that seemed so perfect on the surface, but underneath I was really depressed and unhappy. Opening up and sharing the story of my personal struggles has been the singlemost important thing I have ever done for myself. And coincidentally, I think it’s the most important thing I have done for my readers. I get lots of e-mails from people thanking me for being so open – it makes them feel hopeful, empowered and less alone.

I am motivated by helping others heal.

What is the biggest takeaway you want readers to get out of your e-book, Feeling Good When Life is Hard?

Marthe: The singlemost important thing I want people to walk away with is a sense that everything is possible. You CAN go through very challenging stuff and still thrive. I want people to feel empowered and inspired to make tiny changes that will have a huge impact on their happiness.

Take us behind-the-scenes: what was the writing process like for you? Why did you choose the e-book format versus a more traditional book publisher route?

Marthe: The writing process was very organic. I wrote the entire first draft from various coffee shops in East Village, NYC. I hired a wonderful graphic designer very early on, and spent a great deal of time e-mailing back and forth with her. She designed the book chapter by chapter as I sent her the finished manuscript in pieces.

However, ironically my life got a whole lot of different ways harder right after the first draft was finished. My boyfriend (of 8 years) left me, we had to sell our apartment, a lot of my friends disappeared and I found myself very lonely and insecure about living alone. And it was very hard! In retrospect, this is the best thing that could ever have happened to the book. I suddenly got a very real chance to test my own advice. Some of it fell though, and I discovered and learned other techniques and tools that made a great difference in my life.

My favorite bits of the book is your advice to write love lists– what are your top five things on your personal love list that you turn to the most for inspiration?

Marthe: Great question! I would say that the top 5 things on my list– that I find myself turning to almost daily– are tea, magazines, candles, writing and poetry.

The book is chock-full of amazing advice and tips for developing self-awareness and curating happiness and creativity; what piece of advice do you follow or need the most?

Marthe: Actually, I think writing a love list and implementing the small things into our busy and often challenging lifestyles is one of the most impactful pieces of advice from the book. It’s all about maximizing happiness with minimal effort.

Another very important concept from the book that I use a lot in my daily life is self-coaching. Basically, self-coaching is about becoming aware of the thoughts that create our emotions and actions. It’s so easy to think that a circumstance (like being in debt for example) is making us anxious and thus leading to mindless shopping. However, it’s the thought about the situation– what we make being in debt mean– that really creates the anxiousness. If you think “I’m so screwed, I won’t be able to pay my next installment” that will make you anxious, but if you replace the thought with “I’m in debt and that’s alright– I will pay it off little by little”– you are in a whole different position to take action. If you want to learn more about self-coaching, I explain it more in depth in the book. Brooke Castillo also has a great e-book on self-coaching.

It’s an average Tuesday: what is the day like for you?

Marthe: Well, as I write this– it’s Sunday– but that doesn’t really matter to me. I don’t really have average days– as I work for myself and travel a lot. At the time of writing, I am visiting friends in Los Angeles. I am jet-lagged so I woke up at 5 am. The first thing I do in the morning is to make coffee, then I very often sit down to either write, answer e-mails or work on a creative project. I work for about 3-4 hours before I get out and about to meet people or run errands etc. Since I am travelling at the moment, I have plans to go to a yoga and wine tasting event on a vineyard outside Los Angeles today. Loving my life!

What are three words to describe you?

Marthe: Soulful and soul-full– as I often wear my emotions on the outside. People read me like an open book.
Adventurous– I’ll try anything once!
Phoenix– I crash and burn and re-invent myself often.

What’s next for you? What’s next for The Freedom Experiment?

Marthe: I very recently made the decision to put my law studies on hold for another term, as I go about writing and life coaching. I’m in the middle of life coach training, and I will very soon take on my first practice clients (jump on my newsletter to get updates if you are interested in some low-cost coaching– http://eepurl.com/d93n9). I have just joined a co-working office for young entrepreneurs, so creative work is definitely the direction I am flowing in.

My immediate plans are very cool too– I am currently in Los Angeles for Christmas– and then I fly off to Thailand to spend the new-years with my family there. I am so blessed to be able to live my life like this– my biggest joy is that I can work from anywhere and meet a lot of wonderful new people from all over this beautiful earth.

It truly is a wonderful world.

We are so enamored with Marthe and the lifestyle she represents– her story and her e-book should be staples in every modern woman’s life! If you’re happy, normal, busy, depressed, tired, flustered, kicking butt, or just needing to refresh your crazy life, check out Feeling Good When Life is Hard and keep The Freedom Experiment on your blog reader. Follow Marthe on Twitter as well! Thank you Marthe for sharing your lovely outlook with us! All images via Marthe’s Instagram

The past week has been busy– super busy– and I’ve been “plugged in” and online a ton, but I’ve also felt very disconnected my from regular blog content. So a Sunday “real thoughts” post was in order. Below, a scattering of random thoughts from the past week:

Confidence: This week, I took a small plunge into the world of small business. In case you’ve been completely disconnected from Fête’s Facebook, my twitter, or this page, you probably have heard more than enough about La Tienda. Why did I start a pop-up shop? I’m still not really sure. I wanted to put together a project that would support local businesses and I’d seen online pop-up shops through other (mostly West-Coast based) blogs. I had great connections with amazing local makers, so I thought, “Why not?”

It was an experience and I learned some serious lessons on marketing, time management, and business. The shop wasn’t set up to be a big financial gainer for me; I hoped to make it worth the time of the businesses involved–but I didn’t set it up to be a big financial loss or win for them either. It was more about awareness, spreading knowledge about these local artists as far as I could. And it was about seeing if I could actually pull something like this off.

When La Tienda launched on Monday, I was thrilled. We had done it! But as the week went on, it began to consume me and not necessarily in the most healthy way; I was obsessed with checking stats. I was worried about how it would do– I dreamed about it most nights (the biggest sign of anxiety for me). At a certain point, when the week was nearly over, I decided to just stop worrying about it– I had shared it, my fellow shop-owners had shared it, there was nothing more we could do.

Did I market it the best way? I’m sure I could have done much better. Was it the right mix of vendors? Perhaps. But at the end of the day, I’m more happy with the fact that I wanted to do something, said I wanted to do it, then actually went about and did it. And I’ve truly learned that sometimes doing something is more important an experience than whether or not it was successful. Will I do another pop-up shop in the future? Maybe. Right now, I’m a bit exhausted from this one. But I’m proud of myself for giving the experience a try.

image via RIP Sandy Hook Elementary victims Facebook page

Sadness: Since Friday, the country has been in a state of mourning. I’ve had so many different reactions towards the Connecticut tragedy, in different forms each day.

On Friday, I was shocked and sad– but also very upset at the state of journalism in this country (I think this was a defense mechanism– pushing the sadness away and finding something I could quickly process). The way this story was reported by mainstream journalism was terrible; facts were horribly wrong, social media was used in a negative way, and it was all a rush to give out more, more, more information than it was about telling the story carefully, ethically.

On Saturday, I tried to get out of the house, stay away from the news. I followed the updates on Twitter, but it’s one thing to pick and choose which links to open and how many stories to read. When I went home in the afternoon, I sunk into the couch and was glued to CNN and Fox. The coverage was endless and seeing stories and faces of the children broke me. I don’t have a child, but I am an older sister to a trio of young girls. I was in an elementary school gym watching  a holiday concert earlier this week. It was devastating to finally hear more about what happened inside. Many of my friends and former classmates are elementary school teachers– my mother teaches first grade herself. Hearing the stories of the teachers made me cry again and again– teachers often work the most thankless jobs, yet they are such an integral part of childrens’ upbringings and development.

And today, I’ve been thinking about the state of mental illness and healthcare in our country. I’m sure you’ve all seen this story being passed around today. It’s scary. It’s heartbreaking. I listened to an NPR podcast a few months ago about this very topic– a sick child that leaves his mother living in fear for her life and safety. What are we going to do to help these families? What has happened to make these kinds of illnesses so widespread?

It’s all so much. There are too many different emotional facets. I was in 5th grade during Columbine and I never heard one thing about it. I don’t even think I knew exactly what happened at Columbine until I was a first year at UVA and the Virginia Tech crisis happened in 2007. There’s something very wrong happening right now and I don’t know what I can do or how I should react. So, there’s that.

Confession: John and I have not been in the holiday spirit this year. It makes me feel guilty. Our first newlywed Christmas! We truly have done nothing holiday-wise. There is no Christmas tree; there are no decorations; I haven’t even baked cookies or pies or tried to find matching sweaters for us to wear. We won’t spend the holidays with our families– just with John’s twin brother Sean. It makes me feel sad and strange (my first Christmas without my parents). We’ve bought Christmas presents for others, but we won’t exchange any ourselves– we just can’t afford too much these days. I want to start up some holiday traditions, but haven’t had the energy for it.

Are we terrible people? Will all our Christmases to come be just as absent-minded and unnoticed? Are there any easy ways to get in the holiday spirit together? All you ladies who have been married for a few years– what was your first holiday season like post-wedding?

Happy Sunday all. Sending lots of love your way!

Words cannot capture how much I admire today’s lovely lady. If any of my past featured subjects are an indication, I am constantly awed by the modern Wonder Woman– gals who combine so many different subjects and interests and talents and make it all look effortless. There’s not much in the way of introduction to capture all the facets of Jeannine Lalonde Smith; suffice it to say she’s a newlywed, a local interior blogger, one of UVA’s Deans of Admissions, a DIY master, a social media guru, and the sweetest friend (true story: she reached out to me when I was sinking under last minute wedding DIYs and rocked out some yarn ball poms for me, majorly saving me from going insane). So without further ado– Jeannine!

photo by Jen Fariello

You are a local Wonder Woman– what does your everyday life look like?

Jeannine: I often feel as though I have my hand in one too many things and worry about my ability to juggle them all. Though I love my design blog and DIY projects, helping students through the application process is my priority, so my schedule revolves around the admission cycle.

I have four seasons in my life: travel season, reading season, visit season, and the summer.

During travel season, I’m either in New England for group programs with friends from UC Berkeley, Northwestern, and Johns Hopkins or I’m doing school visits or events in Northern Virginia. Those trips require early mornings and late nights, but they often bring me to places where I can stop at an interesting shop between appointments or squeeze in some blogging after hours.

My husband calls the next season the zombie season. I’m immersed in application reading from November until the end of March. Most of my days are spent staring at two computer screens for up to 12 hours. Reading season is an intense period for anyone in my field, but I’m also responding to students contacting me through social media channels during that time, which is a lot to manage. I gave up the idea of having a truly relaxed Thanksgiving years ago.

Once our decisions are released, the yield season brings thousands of visitors to the UVa Grounds as students try to decide if UVa is where they’ll spend their college years. As a true extrovert, I feed off the energy of crowds, so I love this time of year.

During the “low” season in the admission world, my days are a little boring. It’s the time when we reset to prepare for the next admission cycle, so I do a lot of reading online and I reach out to friends at other schools to see if we can improve on our practices.

What inspired you to start your blog, Small & Chic Home in Cville? What’s your favorite trend in interiors right now?

Jeannine: A blogger I love, Stephanie from Brooklyn Limestone, asked why I wasn’t blogging after I wrote a guest piece for her blog about my bathroom renovation back in 2009. I had started my work blog, Notes from Peabody, in secret in 2005 (people were a little leery of letting students see the nuts and bolts of our process) and didn’t think I could handle a second blog. I gave the second blog a try and it wound up being a great outlet. It also connected me to the design blogging crowd, which inspired me even more than shelter magazines and formulaic design shows on television did.

photo by Elisa B Photography

How did your appreciation for interior design and projects influence your wedding?

Jeannine: The design influence in our wedding started with the color scheme. I went to my paint fan decks and Pantone color charts to find the right shade of blue for our day. Marc definitely gave me a few amused looks when I obsessed over nearly identical shades because he knew I was enjoying obsessing over nearly identical shades of blue.

J. Crew’s wedding consultants, who operate out of Lynchburg, sent swatches of every blue fabric they had so I could find a match to the color I ultimately selected. From there, I focused on fabric. It sounds odd, but I love fabric and knew I’d be using it in a few different ways at our wedding. I loved a fabric called Vintage Plumes by Robert Allen and the jade colorway was a great match for the blue I had selected. I wound up using that fabric for our escort card board, as a background on some signs, and for the clutches that my friend, Michelle Duncan of ea handbags, made for my bridesmaids.

photo by Tom Daly

You created a healthy number of DIY projects for your wedding– where did you find inspiration for these very real projects (they were all so do-able! Not just those insanely unattainable projects you see crafted in magazines)? Do you have any tips for ambitious DIY brides?

Jeannine: Being a blogger is a blessing and a curse during wedding planning.  There is so much inspiration to take in through wedding blogs. My moleskin was full of notes and lists of projects I wanted to try. I was a bit intimidated at first. As a home blogger, I’m far more comfortable with a drill than a glue gun and I was convinced that my DIY skills wouldn’t translate to wedding projects. Early on, I relied on detailed tutorials to get me through projects. In time, I grew comfortable working without tutorials.

photo by Elisa B Photography

My advice to other brides to who aspire to do a lot of DIYing in to first think about why they are going to jump into their projects. So many assume that DIYing items is a way to cut the wedding budget and there are definitely ways to do that, but great materials aren’t always inexpensive. The purpose of my projects was to personalize the details at our wedding, not to cut the budget. In fact, my projects probably cost more because of the materials I selected (Robert Allen fabric was a bit of a splurge!).

For those who decide to DIY, I think a simple list and a realistic calendar are essential. I set a date by which all projects that didn’t require a headcount would be done so that the last minute items (escort cards, programs, menus) wouldn’t be stressful additions to my tasks in the three weeks before our wedding.

photo by Elisa B Photography

A few wedding questions: what was your “Wow” moment What was your overall design inspiration? What was the hardest thing to plan?

Jeannine: Is it terrible to say that I didn’t have a “wow” moment on the wedding day?  I worked on every detail of the day and was in frequent touch with my vendors. There weren’t really any surprises about the overall look, except for the fact that our ceremony was moved inside due to rain the afternoon of the wedding. My bouquet was probably my favorite detail that I didn’t design and I wish I had been able to hold it more than I did. It was a beautiful piece of art.

Jeannine’s bouquet, by Southern Blooms. photo by Elisa B Photography

I love questions about our theme or inspiration. Our theme was “wedding.” In the wedding blogging world, so many people assign a string of words to their wedding (elegant-modern-rustic-chic, anyone?) and I didn’t want to do it. If I liked something or thought a project was fun, I used it.

The hardest parts of the planning were related to our venue. We signed a contract with Pippin Hill before it was built, so we didn’t have many details about logistics. There were a few surprises, which we expected, but it all worked out in the end. An interesting side effect to signing a venue that didn’t exist was that many brides (and their mothers) were searching for updates online. Many found my blog while they were looking for information and some stayed in touch throughout their planning process.

photo by Elisa B Photography

You’re a brand new wife: has anything about marriage surprised you?

Jeannine: I was surprised by how my opinion about changing my name evolved after we got married. I know many women in academia who did not change their names after getting married. I always thought I’d do the same. After the wedding, I realized that I wanted to use my husband’s last name. I decided to keep my name professionally, but use his name socially. I like having the separation, especially when working with social media, which allows students to contact me at all hours and on any day of the week.

photo by Tom Daly

You have so many different roles and interests– what was the best advice you’ve ever received? Do you think it’s possible for ambitious women in their twenties and thirties to “have it all”?

Jeannine: Perfect is boring. No one actually gave me that advice, but it’s been my mantra for quite some time. In college and graduate school, I was so focused on doing things right and my fear of failure or being imperfect led to not taking advantage of some great opportunities. I don’t think I was very interesting or authentic as a result and I spent a lot of time worrying about how I was perceived, so I wasn’t always “present.”

Can we “have it all” in terms of fulfillment in our careers and happiness in other areas of our lives? Sure. I think we should all aspire to be successful in all areas of our lives. It’s great to be ambitious as long as our ambition doesn’t lead us to be obsessively competitive.

You have a friend coming to Charlottesville for the very first time. Where are three places you would take her?

Jeannine: The Lawn is an obviously first stop. It would probably take an out-of-town guest a little while to understand why I’ve loved my time at U.Va. so much, but spending time on the Lawn would probably plant a seed of understanding.

The Downtown Mall is where I decided I could live in Charlottesville when I visited for my interview. It feels a lot like Faneuil Hall in Boston, but Charlottesville has done an amazing job of keeping the mall full of local businesses.

I can’t resist taking every out of town visitor to Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards, where we got married. I think that any city dweller can understand our love for this area when sitting on the patio at Pippin Hill. By the way, our attachment to Pippin Hill isn’t just due to getting married there. Growing up in the New York City area, I only saw farm animals at the zoo and we had fairs, but they never included livestock. Going to the Albemarle County Fair became a bit of a tradition for me when I moved here. I have so many funny memories of that fair. Pippin Hill overlooks the land where the fair used to take place.

photo by Elisa B Photography

Let’s talk balance: what are five things you absolutely need to keep you sane, refreshed, and inspired?

Jeannine: I feel as though you’ve been very generous with the offer of five things! The easy first answer is my husband. During travel season, when I’m not with him, I tend to veer into being a workaholic. I stay up too late and I’m sleep deprived.

Baxter – Our dog is an easy second. Though golden retrievers tend to have a kind temperament, Baxter is especially sweet and affectionate. He is a constant source of joy in my life.

Music – Music is a constant in my life. A song can bring back a specific memory or even an entire phase of my life.

Paint – I love all sorts of painting. I find painting, even painting a room, relaxing.

Food – Like music, I have many happy memories tied to meals.

My perfect day would be _____.

Jeannine: …spent with my husband and my dog and probably include a hammock and a beach… and probably a WiFi signal, too. I actually love being connected, probably because I have family and friends spread around the country.

photos by Jen Fariello

What’s next for you?

Jeannine: We’ve decided to put our condo on the market in the spring and look for our next adventure. I’ll probably write about that process. I believe strongly in living small, but I know that where ever we wind up, we’ll probably want a little more space.

There are so many ways to stay in touch with Jeannine! Follow her blog, Small & Chic in Cville | follow her on Twitter | Instagram | follow her Dean J admissions blog! | and the Dean J Twitter! | Pinterest! | Wedding Bee– she is Mrs. Mink! | And– her wedding on Style Me Pretty | All photos, unless credited, courtesy Jeannine Lalonde Smith

“You are a mash up of what you let into your life. Anyone can be creative if they surround themselves with the right influences.” –Austin Kleon

Words cannot accurately describe how ecstatic I was to attend the inaugural Blogcademy, a weekend blogging retreat in New York City hosted and taught by three of the most infamous and badass bloggers of all time. These ladies are jet-setters, fabulously eccentric, wise, and talented– but most of all, they are passionate about their art. And yes– the kind of blogging Kat, Gala, and Shauna do is art.

It was truly fate that I just happened to be browsing Twitter the exact moment my wedding blogger idol, Kat of Rock n Roll Bride, sent out a tiny message to the world that her latest scheme, a blogging workshop, was live and ready for students. I immediately stalked around the shiny new Blogcademy website, designed by Shauna: the date was right– John and I would be somewhat settled in marriage by mid-October; the price was manageable and the location– NYC– was obviously a plus. I called John (who was in Indiana at the time) and explained the situation. These three bloggers are INCREDIBLE (all-caps doesn’t do them justice)– Kat is my wedding girl crush, Gala is a MUST-READ, MUST-FOLLOW girl, just a total game changer, and Shauna is that girl who you wish was your real-life best friend or sister and also a badass designer. John said, “You’re really excited, this is important to you, you need to go.” So I did.

My reasons for attending Blogcademy: if you haven’t gauged the extent of my fangirl crushes on these bloggers by now, there’s no use explaining how it felt to not only be in person hearing them speak, but to become friends with them (best friends, in my version of it), to talk to them about their real lives and families and tattoos and have them remember you and think something about you is kind of okay. But the more relevant reason for attending was that as much as I love this blog, I needed to be refreshed. To see it through new eyes, to learn some invaluable tools for taking it to the next level, and to feel confident about it. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt truly confident that this blog is actually something.

Fast forward a few months– and hooray, we’re walking into our first Blogcademy session! This was the weekend in Instagrams:

From left: Gala, Shauna, and Kat bring the class to order! 30 lucky bloggers from across the world attended. Note: Gala is NYC-based, Shauna is in Portland, and Kat the UK.

Gala, a spectacular speaker, totally schooled us.

Mayhem! If Kat looks fun, she’s 100 times more larger-than-life in real life.

New bloggy friends! Veronica and Natanya.

Custom coffee warmers by Twinkie Chan– they obviously were informed of my addiction.

A graduate! 

There were two parts to this workshop: the content and the packaging (ie, the bloggers themselves)–>

A quick-and-dirty content summary: how to blog properly (if you want to be successful), photography for bloggers (by the amazing Lisa Devlin), design, non-blogging content, and social media.

In no particular order, the Blogcademy Secret Recipe to Blogging Success (as curated by me):

1) Obsess over your content.
2) Don’t obsess over your stats. Checking analytics once a month is enough.
3) Become an expert.
4) Launch and learn– there is no “right moment” ever.
5) Don’t overcommit yourself (this pertains to content management and to diversifying your money-making strategies).
6) Project what you want to get more of. Don’t post content that will attract the kind of audience you DON’T want.
7) Use your blog to fill a need, a gap in your niche– and put your spin on it.
8) Become absorbed by things in and out of your niche. Don’t let your specific blogging niche become an all-consuming obsession.
9) Remember, when it comes to your blog content and your social media strategies– how can you help others?
10) Go for a design that’s relatable– simple design can project confidence!
11) Branding means: the way a person feels about what you’re offering. A brand is not a logo; a logo represents a brand.
12) Make people believe there is no substitute for your product.
13) Your brand isn’t what you say it is– it’s what your audience says it is.
14) It takes a team to grow a blog.
15) Make your content as personality-laden as possible… and throw some twists in there now and then.

Bonus– new favorite word: “Hench” (thanks Kat) and this quote rocks my world: “All bloggers should marry photographers.” (Kat again)

The lectures and projects and conversations were so priceless– but that personal touch from Kat, Gala, and Shauna themselves were what made the weekend unforgettable. They shared with us their personal schedules, how they structure their days and balance their jobs and fabulous lives. They shared stories about how they made it to the level they were at– the connections they made, the early blog designs they had, the content they produced, sneak peeks of their upcoming work. They shared their branding and design stories, showing us the evolution of their projects. They shared media kits, advertising structures, how to get a book deal, how to design a magazine, their journeys– professionally and personally– that made them the women they are today.

The main “takeaway” from the weekend– your personality is everything. It’s going to define your voice, it’s going to define your style, your branding, your direction. So trust. Sit back and really listen to yourself, focus on your passions and desires, your dreams and schemes. Kat, Gala, and Shauna– “thank you” just doesn’t cover it. It was an honor to be a part of the first class of graduates. If you ever want to go for a long run, give me a call! I cannot wait to see where Blogcademy goes next.

Thank you to Blogcademy SPONSORS! A Fine Press | Alphabet Bags | Crown & Glory | Devlin Photos | Finest Imaginary | Garden Apothecary | Miss Anastasia Perfume | Molly Crabapple | Peach Blossom | Solestruck | Sugarpill | Twinkie Chan

More Blogcademy recaps from my wonderful classmates–> Me and My Ego | The Alchemy of Hustle | Condiments on a City Life | Little Bear in a Big World | Eldy’s Pocket | Burnett’s Boards | Danger Dame

And: quick recaps from Gala Darling | Nubby Twiglet | Rock n Roll Bride

If you don’t know already (how could you not? I’ve tweeted, instagrammed, and Facebooked nothing else all weekend)– the past two days, I was a lucky attendee of the Blogcademy. Don’t worry, we’ll get in to all the fabulous details of the weekend later, but for now, we have some raw, real thoughts.

I love this blog. But it needs a refined direction. So here it is:

At Fête, I want to bring you inspiration for your wedding AND your life. There is life after your wedding. So let’s learn how to live it! I want Fête to represent a wedding AND a lifestyle that’s spurred by simplicity, enthusiasm, and romance. That’s it. So I want everything I do and everything I curate and collect for you to reflect those key concepts. That’s what the Fête Lifestyle is going to look like.

So what that really means, for you dear readers, is that I’m going to be working over the next few months to really refine and streamline my posting schedule. I have a grand ole monthly schedule of columns that I try to stick to– but over the past year, I’ve found a lot of things that work and a lot of things that just don’t. I’m sure most of you have no idea that I have a regular schedule, because my postings are so chaotic and a lot of my column ideas haven’t translated very well from concept to reality.

Here’s the breakdown, as of October 22, 2012:

Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays are going to be your lifestyle mélange. We’re moving “Photo I Heart” to Monday mornings and keeping Tuesdays (Thought o’the Week, Make Merry, You Should Get to Know) the same. We’ll add in more real parties and party inspiration to Tuesdays. Thursdays are pretty brand new: fitness posts, fashion posts, and travel. Mondays will include more {Finds}, books and goodness for your mind and soul, and Interiors– round-ups, inspiration boards, and color boards.

Wednesday and Fridays are WEDDING DAYS. Real weddings, advice columns, inspiration boards, and maybe a special DIY once a month (let’s face it: I’m not good at DIY posts. Real life projects, sure, but not the whole set up and shoot gig. Working on it). The “Things I Heart” tag is going to be exclusively for wedding inspiration boards now.

Saturdays are Weekend Links and Sundays are going to be personal posts.

It’s absolutely not going to be perfect at first. Give me a few weeks to really get in a rhythm, find the proper column names, etc. But I’m excited about this adjustment– I think it will make me feel more comfortable and confident with my offerings and it will give you a stable idea of what to expect on what day. Feedback? Please let me know– if something is just not jiving with you, I’d really love to hear about it!

Thanks for the love and patience. So many more fabulous things to come! xox

{top image by Tom Daly / bottom image by Jen Fariello}

One year ago, a little blog was launched. 52 real weddings and engagement sessions, dozens of inspiration boards, 22 featured cool kids, 16 Make Merry menus, and one wedding later and here we are. One year of blogging! Many, many more to come.

What’s on the docket for the year ahead? More real weddings– double the weddings, in fact. We’re adding in one new wedding, engagement session, bridal portrait session, or rehearsal dinner on Fridays– happy Friday indeed! Fête has joined up with Two Bright Lights, so look for weddings outside of the Central VA area in these posts. Local photographers– send us your non-Cville weddings too! This year, we’re featuring more real party inspiration– throwing a party? Send us your projects, menu, or inspiration board! And, of course, this year, you’ll see more behind-the-scenes of my wedding: the real nitty gritty that went into the weekend. Stay tuned!

We hope to bring you more tips, more experts, more eye candy, and more inspiration– not just for your wedding day. Hopefully, many of you dear readers have breezed through your wedding with grace and style! There is life after a wedding (right? right??) and we want to help you live it with enthusiasm, romance, and whimsy.

So many people deserve HUGE thank yous– Kim Speer, my collaborator and the genius behind Make Merry and so many travel posts, Tom Daly, my buddy and the guy who will jump into any crazy project, and, of course, Jen Fariello, my best friend, role model, and biggest inspiration. John Jefferson, the insane guy who married me, gets a forever thank you for letting me love this blog as much as I love him. My darling friends who read and give me encouragement. Meghan of Shindig, Pat and Sherry of Southern Blooms, Jen Maton of If So Inklined, Jan of Belle Haven, Chris Conklin, Jeanne Cusick, Jeannine of Small & Chic, Frances of the Lila Blog, my dear, dear sponsors, ALL the local photographers who send me weddings and engagement sessions and let me hassle them to feature gorgeous things they create– THANK YOU!

Thank you so much for reading. This blog was born from my personal desire to collect, curate, and cultivate real life inspiration, for my wedding and beyond. I love reading your comments, seeing your Facebook likes, and getting messages from you! So don’t be a stranger. If there’s anything– anything!– you’d like to see here, just let me know. Happy Birthday Fête! I can’t wait to see where you go this year.

Image by Katie Stoops

12 days stand between me, John, and wedding bliss– so major apologies if blogging is a little erratic over the next two weeks!

I am going to try my hardest to keep everything on schedule and on track, but I’m not going to make any guarantees… the lovely thing about blogging is that (for the most part) you’re only accountable to yourself and to your readers. I hope you understand that I might need to be pulling all-day-and-nighters to keep myself sane and on track to walk down the aisle in less than two weeks!

And yes… this is more about me being a complete control freak and unable to give up any projects or hopes or dreams for our wedding day than about me needing to finish anything for our wedding to be cool or hip or a success. No matter what, we’re going to wake up on Sept 23 as Mr. and Mrs.– and THAT is all that matters! But please don’t give up on me if the blog is little quiet. I’m trying to create content and schedule posts to keep us as on track as possible. And John wants to post daily updates on our honeymoon– he’s quite the budding photog!– so hopefully you’ll be patient and keep coming back if we go a little MIA for a few days in the meantime. Lots and lots to come in the next few weeks… we’re going to hit ONE YEAR of Fête-ing before you know it!

Thanks in advance for your love, support, and patience! xox

my favorite photo, by Jen Fariello